A skittery, erratic attempt at a weblog. Rambles will be indulged and depths will be plumbed. Who knows what I'll come up with?
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| Fragments A skittery, erratic attempt at a weblog. Rambles will be indulged and depths will be plumbed. Who knows what I'll come up with? |
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Monday, November 17, 2003 Weather: grey Listening to: a mishmash of the songs from the new Third Eye Blind CD...in my head Not doing:english studying...well, again, I am actually.... Plus ca change... I'm not sure whether this quote is reassuring or frightening: "The nation itself, with all its so called internal improvements...is just such an unwieldy and overgrown establishment, cluttered with furniture and tripped up by its own traps, ruined by luxury and heedless expense.... [America] lives too fast. Men think that it is essential that the nation have commerce, and export ice, and talk through a telegraph, and ride thirty miles an hour....but whether we should live like baboons or like men, is a little uncertain." -Henry David Thoreau, 1854 See? Is that comforting because things really haven't changed, or is it alarming because THINGS REALLY HAVEN'T CHANGED? ~SQ posted by susan | 1:41 PM Saturday, November 15, 2003 Weather: don't know Listening to:nothing Not doing:any of the things I had planned to get done this weekend Mad I can't remember the last time I was this angry. I'm not truly angry very often. Yeah, I like to rant and rave and exaggerate the petty annoyances in my life, because it's kind of fun. But now, I'm MAD. And you know what? I have no idea what to do about that. I've thought it over seriously, and I have no clue how to get un-mad. I'm not a choleric individual, so I'm not really used to it. I'm giving the matter enough thought to tie up all the circuits in my brain, making it impossible to do schoolwork. I'm even thinking over the coping strategies suggested by the questions on the Mindgarden Survey, since I've now done it a billion times for the sake of Health Psych. When you think about it, it's not that big of a deal in the long run. And I don't think my fellow group members are as mad as I am -- they might have been, yesterday, right after the colossal fuck-up that was the presentation representing 3 months of work, but I'm sure they're all over it by now. I guess that's because they're reasonable people and I'm not. But I'm mad because everyone else knew what needed to be done and was prepared to do it, and I can't see any good reason why she wasn't -- except that she doesn't care, has never made any attempt to understand our research, and has always made it patently obvious that she had somewhere more important to be than our meetings. And I'm mad because I know there was more I (we?) could and should have done -- if the powerpoint presentation had been decent, for example, at least everyone would have realized that our group DID know what we were talking about and DID have some good, original ideas. And it's not like no one noticed this person's lack of commitment and interest -- we should have called her on it earlier. But what can I do now? Throw myself into the paper, but that's not going to make me any less angry...it's too late to yell or talk to her...distraction isn't working.... I guess I just accept that I (we?) failed at the task we were set and wait for the nasty rumination cycle to end.... ~SQ posted by susan | 1:41 PM Monday, November 10, 2003 Weather: colder than it looks...unfortunately. Listening to: Tori Amos Live, "Pretty Good Year" Not doing: english reading, health psych literature review, much of anything If mac had a bandwidth limit, I'd blow it on... Diagnosed Sounds. It's ridiculous. But Tori live is just...so good. And the improvs are so cute and funny. ~SQ posted by susan | 4:10 PM |
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